


Who Would You...

by Love_Psycho



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hinted Relationships, Humour, Marry/Fuck/Kill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 02:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1712339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_Psycho/pseuds/Love_Psycho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out drinking late, Shura is asked a rather surprising question in an interesting game. Which gains an even more interesting and surprising answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Would You...

Shura barely resisted the urge to spit out her drink. She only managed to swallow it, coughing afterwards, due to it being a particularly good vintage. And she hated wasting alcohol anyways.

“Excuse me?” Shura blinked and stared across at one of her (current) drinking buddies; one Sara Harton, which Shura had only two things in common with. That she liked drinking and worked at the Order like Shura.

Sara smirked. “Out of Lucifer, Amaimon, and Sir Pheles, who would you like to kill, marry or fuck?” She repeated.

This didn't clear up Shura's confusion. Of course the entire drinking party had been playing Kill/Marry/Fuck for awhile now. Sure they were doing their best to get utterly wasted but that took time. So they had to fill up the spaces between point A (sober) and point B (drunk).

“Why the fuck are you asking me that?” Shura demanded to know.

Sara sipped at her drink – a rather fruity, sweet concoction that Shura herself could never stand – and rolled her eyes. “Because it's my turn to ask the question and you haven't answered it yet.”

“Well...yes, but that doesn't explain that combination.” Shura insisted.

Another Exorcist – oh so creatively named Bill – snorted. “Well, you are the only one here who's interacted with all of them.”

“And lived.” Another named Daisuke added.

Shura scowled but had to admit they had something of a point. She was wasted enough to succumb to that logic. “Alright....” She considered it for a bit, taking a big gulp from her cup then holding it out for more. After her cup was refilled, she responded. “Well, kill is fucking easy. Amaimon.”

“And why's that?” Sara asked, honestly curious.

Shura snorted. “Cause he pisses me off all the fucking time. He's about as dense as a bag of rocks too. And I hate his fucking pet. Not to mention that blow up in that forest is all his fucking fault.” She grumbled at the end. ' _Though really, he only probably did that thanks to Mephisto's encouragement. Fucking baldy._ '

There is a slight murmur of agreement, though most don't seem to know what she's talking about. Those that do know about the forest seem curious about it; why she focused her hate on Amaimon and not the “Son of Satan”.

The answer was easy; aside from his heritage, Rin was as harmless as a ball-o-fluff kind of kitten. He was more apt to feed you then kill you. Though the lines blurred for Yukio since his younger brother seemed intent on courting death by neglecting his health as much as possible by not eating all the meals Rin carefully prepared for him.

Rule number one for dealing with Rin in the kitchen; eat all the food you were given or you will be hounded for weeks afterwards.

“What about the other two? Fuck or Marry. Which belongs to which?” Sara prompted.

Shura tapped her finger against her chin. “Hmmm....I'd fuck Lucifer. He's attractive enough for that. But he's almost as dense as Amaimon, though smarter about it, and something of a psychopath so only fucking for me.”

She then paused and considered. “Then again, if I want to fuck a dense pretty boy who's a closet psychopath I can always rely on Angel...”

Sara snorted at that, choking on her drink. “Oh man...did you just compare our current Paladin to freaking _Lucifer_?” She shook her head. “You'll lucky I ain't gonna tell anyone.”

“That's cause it's true Sara.” Bill pointed out, snorting himself.

At this point, Midoriko, who had been silent all this time, spoke up. “Though that means....”

Seeing the look in her eyes, Shura sighed and leaned her head on her hands. “Yeah yeah. Marry fucking Mephisto crazy clown Pheles.”

The table was silent for a moment as they digested this. Then...

“Why would you marry him?” Sara popped up with. “I mean...it's _Sir Pheles_.”

“Well...he ain't as stupid as Amaimon, or narrow minded as Lucifer.” Shura slowly explained. Liquor was loosening her tongue, making her say things she normally wouldn't. “He's real smart and things ain't boring 'round him. Plus, he's rather cute.” She added, almost as an after thought.

Bill nearly choked and died on his drink at that, the rest not faring any better. “Cute?!”

Shura sighed and rolled her eyes. “Yes, cute.”

“How?” Midoriko demanded, looking like she just had an anvil dropped on her head. “It's...well, we are talking about _Sir Pheles_ here.”

“He's a raging Otaku.” Shura noted. “For human entertainment, though this stupid Honey-Honey Sisters thing seems to be his fav right now. He also tends to eat the super cheap and crappy tasting food despite all the fancy shit in his school and how much money he has. And barely sleeps. Hell, if he wasn't a demon he'd be on the verge of a breakdown.”

They all digested this...then laughed. “Ah man, Shura you're having us on. Sir Pheles ain't ever gonna be cute. Now...Midoriko it's your turn...”

Shura ignored the discussion on what to ask Midoriko on the Kill/Marry/Fuck scale, too busy thinking about Mephisto. And dammit, she wasn't lying about finding him cute. He was actually surprisingly awkward underneath his “gentleman” façade and when he was plotting things, yeah it could be rather freaky but with how he spoke about it and....

Well, to be fair he wasn't bad looking, demon or no. And he was smart, strong and....well, a had a lot a girl wanted in a man. Also had a lot a girl _didn't_ want but that didn't mean he wasn't attractive in his own fashion.

Shura was pulled out of her thoughts by something the others said ringing an alarm bell in her mind. “Oi, you can't use my fucking student in this game.”

“But Shura....” Daisuke whined.

“No buts. Rin's not even _sixteen_ yet, he definitely ain't old enough for this game. Pick another option.”

As the others – grumbling – got back to discussing another option for Kill/Marry/Fuck, none of them, not even Shura, noticed a figure abruptly leave a table nearby. Considering how surprisingly conservative he was dressing, it was no wonder none of them recognize him.

Outside the bar, Mephisto found a handy wall to bang his head against. Though he ended up laughing in between the hits. He definitely hadn't expected _that_ and now he had way too many inappropriate thoughts dancing in his head.

Fun thoughts though.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Really weird thing that popped into my head and came out in record time. Tell me what you think please! Yes, I do ship Mephisto/Shura. At least a little that is. It can be so much FUN if done right.


End file.
